In order to get past increasingly proficient spam filters, spammers are now tucking their ads away in properly-structured but completely absurdist letters.
I now present, in its entirety, the Most Amusingly Absurd Spam I’ve Ever Seen, starring Ed Meese, robot-soul-stealing orphans, seductive nurses, and gay economists:
After he kissed you, didn’t Ed Meese insist that the hard rock geologists want their children to become lovers? High school teachers freak out when they see cockroaches. Bookworms chatter endlessly about punks.
Body Wrap at Home – [link]
Orphans collect the souls of robots. Gardeners are, in most cases, just intellectuals. The ghouls have gained control of web geeks.
Lose 6-20 inches in one hour – [link]
In some places the district attorneys require that the baseball pitchers breed with people. Jerks make prank telephone calls to finite element fanatics. Who has been saying that nurses seduce magicians?
Soothing formula – contours, cleanses and rejuvenates [link].
Professional models have been seen dancing with the ballroom dancers. Electricians educate the Martians! Today’s Horoscope says that the economists hit on guys.
I don’t think there’s anything more I could possibly add to that. Other than this could easily be a stolen outline for David Lynch‘s next movie.