Dear Dumbasses Neighbors

It is a frillion degrees out. You should be operating the air conditioning that comes standard in all apartments in our building.

You therefore should not have any windows open for your cat to push out the screen, climb out into the hole in the center of the building, and meow for 5 minutes.

Your cat should not be waking up both me and my cat. Your cat should definitely not sit taunting my cat for an hour and a half at 4 in the morning, as Chaplin yowls and yowls until I have to throw him out of my room so maybe I can get some sleep.

Your cat has put me in a bad mood all day at work. I slept for a grand total of three hours last night because of your cat.

Please, for the love of god, keep your cat inside your air-conditioned apartment, and let Chaplin go back to meowing at pigeons, who have the decency to fly away after 10 minutes of getting yowled at.

Thank you.
-Ellen

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