Dear Guy Getting Out Of The Sauna While I Was Getting Out Of The Pool,
1. Your reverse mohawk with sideburns that go most of the way down your neck does not look cool, nor does it hide the fact that you’re balding. It makes you look like you fell out of 1997, and not even a cool part of 1997. The only guy who could even sort of pull off the reverse mohawk was the dude from The Prodigy, and even he looked pretty damn dumb.
2. When wearing flood pants, one might consider at least wearing the same color of loud-colored sock. And if you wore different colors on purpose because you thought it looked cool, then you’re even more delusional than your hairstyling choices would make you appear.