I swear. A lot. This is not news to anyone who has read this blog, ever. But in professional settings, it’s pretty much not cool.
So I really have to keep an eye on my cursing at work, and I’ve been doing pretty well with it so far, reducing my cursing level by at least 90% when I’m there.
Problem being, all the curse words build up throughout the day, and the ones I don’t get rid of in traffic (“Hey DICKWEED! Try fucking using your fucking goddamn turn signal, you SHITHEAD!”) still need to get out.
Shouting curse words at the wall will probably lead my neighbors to a) call the cops b) have me committed or c) both, so that option’s not so good.
So now as soon as I leave work, whether in written or oral conversation, I tend to speak in a manner such as:
“Aw, fuck. I can’t fucking believe those fucking fucks fucked up again. Shit. Goddamn idiots. They couldn’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground with a motherfucking pair of binoculars. Buncha fucknuts…”
…and so forth. I’m just waiting for someone to threaten to wash my mouth out with soap.
And I’d tell them, “Frankly, madam, I prefer the fucking toothpaste.”