Easily Amused

So I’ve been wasting a lot of time over the last couple of days, mostly because of a complete lack of desire to face the reality I’ve selected for myself: jobless, in way, way over my head, 2,000 or more miles from 99% of my friends, and living alone.

So because of this, I’ve found numerous ways to prevent the inevitable freakout. Fortunately, I’m far too easily amused, so I’ve been having an easy time doing this. Here’s just a few of them.

Entertainment #1 is my new shredder. I bought a paper shredder because:

1) I’m lazy, and I’m sick of always having to tear up credit card offers,

2) it was only ten bucks, and

3) I have a sick enjoyment of destroying things, especially if the process involves a cool noise.

So of course, any paper item that I’m going to throw out, goes through the shredder with a satisfying neeeeeeeeeeerow and a brand new set of confetti.

Assembly directions for furniture that I’ve already assembled. Cash reciepts from various fast-food joints across the country. My grocery list (after doing the actual shopping, of course).

I know this makes me sound like I’ve gone off the deep end, but I’m seriously very amused by this.

Entertainment #2 has been assembling my apartment. From actually physically assembling furniture to debating the precise locations of particular posters, this has kept me way, way more entertained and occupied than it should have.

I think this is partly because I cannot, for the life of me, find my watch. I took it off a couple days ago and it seems to have vanished into thin air. Or possibly accidentally gotten thrown out. Same difference.

There are at least half a dozen other clocks in this apartment, but for some reason, unless I have my watch on, I cannot keep track of time, and when I don’t know what time it is, I can’t tell how much time I’ve wasted.

It doesn’t even occur to me that time has been wasted until I think, “Gee, haven’t I seen (or at least heard) this same report on Headline News at least four times?” and I realize I’ve just spent four hours putting up posters, when I intended to spend ten minutes.

Entertainment #3 is sort of an offshoot of #2, and it’s cleaning. Now I know most of you who have ever seen a space that I have actually lived in are laughing at this, I am, sadly enough, serious.

I have very little extra space here, so basically, I have to clean, or I’m going to be tripping over things left and right. Now I know some of you are saying, “Ellen, that’s exactly what you and anyone who attempted to enter your room were doing before.”

Touché.

However, the avoidance of reality has provided me with an extremely strong motivation to clean. And really, this is nothing new. My dorm room would generally get cleaned up around finals time, when I should have been studying.

Dealing with reality is like studying times 100 (at least), so my entire apartment right now is pretty much pristine. But I don’t know what I’m going to do when my apartment is completely together and clean.

I guess I’m going to have to get a job or something.

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