The Great Fridge Fiasco Of ’03

There are many quirky things about Los Angeles, but one of the odder ones is that about 2/3 of the apartments out here don’t come with a refrigerator.

There isn’t really much of an explanation of this, other than the cheapness that seems to be inborn in landlords. I’ve heard half a dozen theories, everything from landlords getting sued for food spoilage in a power outage to the very strict rent control out here making them unwilling to have a big-ticket item they’d have to replace if it breaks.

I think, in the end, it pretty much boils down to the landlords simply saying, “If we can get tenants to shell out for this instead of shelling out ourselves, so much the better.”

So the place I finally managed to get was alas, one of the ones that was fridgeless. So I went to Sears, dutifully listened to the salesman trying to sell me a $1000 fridge, and ended up getting a much cheaper but good-sized energy efficient model with an icemaker thrown in.

The advantage of the Energy-efficient model is that the LA Department of Water and Power gives you $100 bucks back when you buy one, so a nicer fridge ends up being about the same price as a crappier one, plus the money you save on electricity.

So anyway, after plunking down the old plastic, they told me, okay, the soonest we can get this delivered is Saturday. All right, fine, I said, and the creepy automated voice called me Friday night and told me to eagerly await my fridge between 11:30am and 1:30pm.

I was very happy to be getting the fridge, because I’ve basically been eating out for the last month and a half straight. This is not only unhealthy, but very, very expensive. I was already sick to death of fast food.

So of course, I get a call at 10am Saturday morning. “Uh, yeah, we can’t deliver your fridge. The one we were going to give you was damaged in the warehouse. We can’t get you one until Monday.”

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

So another two days’ worth of waiting and McNuggets later, the fridge finally showed up. I had ordered a fridge with the hinge on the left side, since that’s the way every fridge I’ve ever had opens. I also figured that the wall is on the right and I don’t want to be constantly hitting the wall.

What I failed to account for is that my kitchen is narrow enough and the door is wide enough that I wouldn’t be able to open the door from that direction, since I’d have to stand right next to the wall for the fridge door to swing out.

I thought, oh, shit, now they’re gonna have to take it back. However, fortune actually smiled on me for once, and the guys who delivered my fridge were able to switch the doors around quite easily, so that now I might actually be able to access my food.

So now, at the ripe old age of 22, I now own my first major appliance. And of course, the main things in it are 1) alcohol 2) milk and 3) frozen food.

Because you’ve gotta have a balanced diet.

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