So it turns out I may not have to wait another month to finally start working. For those who didn’t read my absurdly long appendicitis story, here’s the short version.

I was supposed to start training at CPK Monday, and when I called them to tell them I wasn’t going to be able to make the training because I’m a) too doped up on Vicodin to drive and b) unable to walk faster than a moderate shuffle, they said oh, well…

There wasn’t another training session scheduled, and the manager I talked to said it could be as long as a month before one actually was. I’ve been unemployed and laid up by various ailments for a couple of months now, and I just about lost it when he told me that.

However, I got the good word today that I can study the written materials at home and come in as soon as my body allows. Hopefully that will be fairly soon, because I’m going a little stir-crazy, since I can’t walk more than about 2 blocks without eye-popping pain.

I’m trying to taper down the Vicodin so I don’t get addicted or whatever, but I’m still in an awful lot of pain and sense I will be until the staples come out, supposedly within the week. Until then, I shall have to ignore South Park‘s admonishment that “Drugs are bad, mmkay?”

On the upside, I will have a nice, gnarly scar with which to impress bikers. And that, after all, is my goal in life.

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