Do I Look Like A Dominatrix?

Lawd.

This is for anyone who didn’t stop by the bar tonight, because if you stopped by, you’ve already heard this story. Twice, in all likelihood.

So this guy who has come into the bar for the last couple nights because he’s staying at the hotel decided that I looked like I was into S&M. He called down to try and talk to me but I was busy when he called, so I just gave him our hours.

He came back down, ordered another drink, and then asked me if I was into “asserting my will” and other like phrases, so that I could get the drift of what he was talking about. I said no thanks. That’s where I should have ended it.

Instead, when he asked why, I said, well, for one thing, I have more in common with Ellen DeGeneres than my first name. This was a HUGE mistake, because he thought “Oh goody, she’s into freaky shit! Now I’m in!”

No, I like women. This doesn’t mean I’m a dominatrix, no matter what the Spice Channel will have you believe.

So he became a bit more persistent, asking me if there was anything he could offer to change my mind. I said, flat out, no each time. At this point it was more annoying than anything else. Personally, I don’t care what your kink is as long as you don’t try and drag me into it.

Eventually, a group of regulars came in and (thankfully) drove him out of the bar. He then proceeded to call down to the bar at least four or five times (most of which I told him to call back because I had customers) and ask again how he could persuade me.

He asked me for a hint. I told him, “Here’s a hint: Try someone else.” He said he was going to try every trick in the book. I told him, “Put down the book, I’m not interested.” He didn’t call for about two hours after that.

He called one last time “to see if you’ve changed your mind.” I finally just said, look, I’m not changing my mind, so please stop calling. That worked for the rest of the night.

I know he’s staying at the hotel, so he may be back, but if he even thinks about trying again, I’ll throw him the fuck out.

Which I probably should have done anyway, but at first he was fairly discreet about it, and when someone is initially discreet, I tend to not care so much. But when someone refuses to take fuck off for an answer, then we have a problem.

Also, this guy had three strikes against him in that he was

1. skeezy

2. old

3. male.

These are all usually strikes against you when I weigh whether I want sleep with someone. #1 is always a disqualifier, and #’s 2 and 3 usually are, 2 more than 3, though 3 is still pretty strong.

It was more amusing and annoying than frightening, but if he tries anything tomorrow, I’ll call the manager, who in turn will call the cops on him.

I think the comment that really summed it up was when someone told me, “You should have told him to shove it,” and I responded, “That might have actually been counterproductive…”

Please god let this Braves job come through…

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