Floor-Creak Eavesdropping

It’s always entertaining to try and figure out what’s going on in the apartment above mine (and specifically, the room above mine) by the sounds of people tromping around, but tonight, I’m getting a bit concerned that I’m going to hear some things I just don’t wanna hear.

The girl that lives there, by the way, has told me more than once to turn down my music when it was so quiet I could barely hear it and I was sitting right next to my goddamn stereo.

So what it sounds like is happening tonight is the following:

I heard a bunch of drunk people coming back at about 2am, and I bet Dave, who I was talking to on IM, that it was my upstairs neighbor. Sure enough, about thirty seconds later, there came a massive clomping sound from above, then someone clomped out of the room.

About five minutes ago, it sounded like two people, one in regular shoes and one in heels, entered the room. Then, the one in heels exited for a moment, leaving the shoed one to walk a couple steps. My guess? Someone went in search of condoms.

The Heeled One returned, and there was a bit more clomping around, followed by the sound of shoes being removed. Since then, relatively little, though I strongly suspect this is not the end of things.

If she can’t sleep with music I can barely hear sitting less than two feet away from my stereo, what the fuck does she think I’m doing when she comes in like a fucking circus parade, complete with giraffes, elephants, and the Man With The Forty Foot Dick?

I swear to God, if they start having loud sex, I’m going to have to climb out the window, shinny up the gutter, break their window, and give their drunk, horny asses a serious beat-down. Frustration will do that to you.

Or maybe I’ll just make them read this.

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