A weird excursion into Skokie

So Elisa and Ray are visiting from Champaign, and a bunch of us decided to go to Skokie lanes and get our drunk bowling on (well, except me because I’m still on my 30 days no booze kick and I was driving, and Ray because he was driving).

Firstly, on the way over, this animal, which I thought was a black cat, darted out in front of my car, and I didn’t see it til I was almost on it, and I thought I hit it. I was like oh my god, I’ve killed someone’s pet, and I’m going straight to hell, especially because it was a black cat.

But I pulled over to go check on it, and it wasn’t there. The people in Ray’s car (which was directly behind me) told me it was a racoon, and they saw it dart out from under my car, unharmed. So that was a relief. I’m still convinced it was a cat, but thank God I didn’t actually hit it.

Bowling was entertaining. We bowled two games, Team Single vs. Team Relationship, and Team Student vs. Team Real World. Team Single (yay!) and Team Real World (boo!) won, but I think the fact that I bowled 40 points lower the second game than I did the first helped them win that game.

After we were done, we then proceeded directly to Steak ‘N’ Shake, where we were served by a waitress who was quite clearly on a great deal of methamphetamines. The Evidence:

– When we came in, she slammed all our silverware down on the table in one clump, doing this in such a manner as to cause several forks to go skittering across the table.

– Her general mannerisms when initially confronting us: way too much energy, asking us about a minute after handing us the menus if we were ready to order even though one person who had clearly gone to the bathroom wasn’t back, general shakiness, and what can only be described as a weird look in her eyes.

– When we asked if we could get seperate checks, she said “Hell no, you are not making me write out seperate checks for all of you!”

– Cleo ordered a regular cheese fries, and Jon and Jon ordered a large plain fries. We watched her write these orders down. She brought out a large cheese fries and a regular cheese fries, and when she tried to give the large cheese fries to the Jons, they said, “Um, actually, we had plain.”

She then returned with two plates of plain fries, and then tried to give Cleo the plain fries, and when Cleo said she had ordered cheese fries, she spun around and took off, coming back 30 seconds later with a plate of cheese fries.

– The fact that it took twice as long to get a piece of cobbler and a sundae as it did to get the fries. Scooping ice cream isn’t fucking rocket science.

We also had to track her down after she disappeared for a few minutes right around when it was time for our check. To her credit, she was good about keeping Mark’s coffee cup filled, but that was about the only thing she did right.

Granted, a lot of this just sounds like standard waitress-having-a-bad-night stuff, but the way she was acting, it was very clear she was not in her right mind. We guessed crystal meth, largely because it’s hard to afford cocaine on a Steak ‘N’ Shake salary.

One of the Jons also noticed when he went to the bathroom that one of the employees did not wash his hands after using the bathroom, so that added a nice extra Gold Star of Sketchiness to the evening. I’m definitely not going back to that Steak ‘N’ Shake for a while…

But overall it was a good time. Now I just have to get someone to come with me 4am bowling at Waveland Bowl, the 24-hour bowling alley down in Chicago (open since 1959…).

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