X X – I Voted Twice

Ah, election day. The day when we see the end of all this ridiculous political campaigning, at least for another couple of months.

I actually went and voted today. It’s a fairly mundane process, but little details can make it really amusing.

Like candidates who insist on putting nicknames on the ballot. The Libertarian congressional candidate in my district (IL 9th) was listed on the ballot as Stephanie “Vs. The Machine” Sailor. I shit you not.

The Tribune dutifully lists her as Stephanie VTM Sailor, which makes me think that she must have had her middle name legally changed to “Vs. The Machine,” because I can’t conceive of any other way she could have actually gotten that on the ballot.

I don’t know which Libertarian is crazier, her or the Libertarian Senate candidate from Montana who accidentally turned himself blue.

The other thing that amuses me is that people are actually expected to make an educated selection on almost 30 judicial candidates that nobody has ever heard of.

I took the opposite tack from most people (who traditionally vote to allow everyone to stay) and just voted to throw all the bums out. I think Illinois could benefit from a bit of judicial upheaval. I could have abstained, but whatever. It’s much more fun to make irrational and ill-informed snap judgements.

Alas, I didn’t actually get to vote twice, which was somewhat disappointing, since this is Chicago, after all. I guess if I was dead I would have had a better chance of casting multiple votes.

But if I was dead, I wouldn’t get to ridicule someone who legally changed their middle name to Vs. The Machine.

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