Come si dice…

Many weird things come up when you don’t adhere to standard sexual preferences, some easily anticipated, some not. This week’s unanticipated weirdness: Learning a new language.

You obviously have to learn the words for husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc., and the professor generally goes around the room asking what the girls want in their ideal husband and the boys want in their ideal wife.

Except when you’re a girl who wants an ideal wife, problems arise. Fortunately, I’ve so far managed to escape unscathed when my Italian professor goes around the room, inquiring as to the dating status of my various classmates.

I think he tends to skip over the people he strongly suspects are not of standard sexual preference (me, a girl I think could bench press me, and a guy I keep getting vibes off of) because he doesn’t want to embarrass people.

However, I could be wrong, and he could hit me with “Ha un ragazzo?” (Do you have a boyfriend?) and its constant follow up question, “Perché non?” (Why not?) when we review for next week’s quiz.

I think I’ve worked out something of a response (well, other than turning bright, bright red): “Non ho un ragazzo perché io preferisco le donne. Capisci?” (I don’t have a boyfriend because I prefer women. Understand?)

At the very least, this will make him turn redder than I do, and that’s enough to satisfy me.

Although I do give mad props to the girl in my class (a rather unassuming sorority girl) who, when it was our turn to ask the questions, asked one of the biggest frat boys in the class if he had a boyfriend. He turned Santa-suit red. It was hysterical.

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