Go, Short Stack!

I, for one, am very happy the Angels won the World Series.

Firstly, because they beat the Yankees. I fucking hate the Yankees. I feel that anyone who beats the Yankees in the playoffs is entitled to win the World Series.

Secondly, because I like their shortstop, David Eckstein, who I’ve nicknamed Short Stack, since he’s 5’6″ (“By his own admission,” the announcers helpfully added about fifteen times during the playoffs).

He’s so short (for a baseball player, at least) that when he comes up to bat, he’s just barely as tall as the squatting catcher. Being only two inches shorter than him, I find his success tremendously endearing.

I’ve been rooting for him since the Yankees series, largely because I find him tremendously entertaining, because despite the short legs, he runs like a maniac and ends up beating out little dribblers in the infield.

It was very cool to see him holding the World Series trophy, especially because the damn thing was only half as big as him.

Thirdly, I wanted the Angels to win because I like Mike Scoscia. He was a great player for the Dodgers for a really long time, and he was on the team that won on Kirk Gibson’s home run.

According to the Fox graphic, he’s the 27th person to win Series rings as both a player and a manager. I also like that he was totally honest when asked if it’s better to win as a player or a manager: “Oh, it’s much better as a player!”

He was also extremely funny when he guest starred on the Simpsons episode where Burns makes a million dollar bet on a plant softball league game and brings in a bunch of ringers. Scoscia is the one who’s actually interested in doing the work.

Fourthly, I wanted the Angels to win because Barry Bonds is an asshole, and I didn’t want to see eight bajillion glowing articles about how he’s changed now that he has a World Series to his credit.

Fifthly, I wanted them to win for old Gene Autry, who owned the team for almost 40 years, and because I wanted Disney, the team’s current owner, to look even stupider for trying to unload them.

Mikey Eisner, trying to look casual by wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt and a sport jacket, then jumping around with John Travolta, definitely made them look pretty goddamn dumb.

Finally, I wanted the Angels to win because a few of my friends were really rooting for them. I like tweaking people whose teams lose, simply because my teams usually lose and I’m usually the one getting tweaked.

It’s nice to turn the tables of mockery once in a while.

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