Life in a nutshell

Ever have one of those moments that encapsulates what’s going on in your life, and it pisses you off way more than it should, simply because it’s so representative?

I had one of those tonight when I went by Blockbuster to drop something off for a friend and pick up Jaws for a paper I have to write this weekend. No, really. This is why I’m a film major: My papers are about Jaws, not Kant.

Anyway, one of the StreetWise (paper sold around Chicago for a buck by a number of homeless vendors so that people don’t feel quite as much like they’re giving people a handout) guys was outside, as one normally is.

It was cold, but I didn’t have any singles, so I told him I’d buy one when I came out. So I come out of the store, and hand the guy a dollar, which he puts in his pocket. I reach out towards the stack of papers he’s holding.

“Oh, that’s not StreetWise, that comes out tomorrow. I’ll be here though, I’ll remember you. God bless.”

I just kind of stood there for a second, then shook my head and walked away. I didn’t have the time or the energy to say “Hey, you lying fuck, give me back my dollar!”

I was talking to people on IM, and my friend Eddy had the best line: “That’s insane. Would you buy a video from Blockbuster on the assumption that they’ll remember you tomorrow when you come to pick it up?”

Like I said, I wouldn’t be so pissed about it if it weren’t representative of a lot of things that have been going on in my life lately: I agree to do something, on the assumption that I’m going to get something out of it. I do it, and then get screwed over.

Ugh. At least the heat in my apartment works this winter. I’m clinging to that as a beacon of hope, because right now there ain’t much else.

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