After 15 looooong months of turning my back into a pretzel on a futon mattress, I finally broke down and admitted I need a real mattress, so I went out and got one.

I just snapped Friday morning when I woke up with my back aching for the umpteenth consecutive time. I just went out, and said fuck the fact that I don’t have the money for this, I can’t deal with this anymore.

I had a very odd salesman, who, while he was filling out the paperwork for my purchase, regaled me with tales of having to share an extra-long twin with his pregnant girlfriend for nine months of college. He’s one of those guys who initially seems nice enough, but then you find out that they’re completely fucking psychotic.

However, despite the salesman’s personality quirks (to put it mildly), I am very satisfied with the mattress and price that I got. I am very glad to not be waking up with searing back pain.

Oh, I hereby apologize to my ex-girlfriend and her back for not doing this when we were still going out.

I forgot how much better life is when you actually get a decent night’s sleep, and wake up not in a great deal of pain. It’s helped me reduce my stress to the point that I can rachet it back up to normal by doing things like, oh, forgetting about the career fair until 10 hours before it happens…

So we’ll see how long this mattress-induced bliss lasts. And we’ll see how it holds up if I ever get around to getting another girlfriend…or more than likely if I get really drunk and decide it would be fun to jump on the bed.

I’ll let you know how the traction goes.

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