Loss of wisdom

Well, at least I don’t feel any stupider.

I got my wisdom teeth pulled Tuesdsay, and it really wasn’t all that bad. I’m still pretty sore, but the fine makers of Vicodin have been of a great deal of assistance in making it not hurt quite as bad.

The silliest part was waiting for them to actually start the procedure. They did IV anesthesia instead of the little mask, so that made it pretty easy.

The problem was waiting for the dentist to finish talking with another patient…for half a fucking hour. I talked to the nurses for a while, and when they left me alone for a bit, I started whistling.

Then I started singing “I Wanna Be Sedated,” and they got the picture and got the dentist off his ass.

I had been somewhat concerned because one of the two nurses was apparently new. She had asked “Now you’re having all four out today?” To which I replied, well, I only have two, so I certainly hope I’m not having four out.

Then, she put the heart rate monitor thingies on the wrong hands. Then she gave me the release form, which told me of the possibility of numerous complications (broken jaw, ripped tissue at the edge of my mouth), which I had not contemplated.

This did loads to improve my confidence.

The surgery itself was a breeze. They numbed my arm before they put in the IV, which they didn’t need to do since my left arm is my blood-givin’ arm, so I’m used to having it poked and prodded.

The funniest part was when they actually let the drugs go (Demerol for the pain, Valium as a muscle relaxant, and some sort of mild but fast-acting barbituate to knock me out), and were like, “OK, let us know when you start to get drowsy.”

I said, “OK, I will.” And that’s the last thing I remember before waking up with a mouthful of gauze.

I had to watch a little video on aftercare, which they probably should have waited about another ten minutes or so to show me, since I have absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever, except that it had a lot of jump cuts.

I am such a film nerd.

Anyway, my fabulous friends Marc and Ross were there, who I owe big time for helping me out, and they walked me over to the NU pharmacy to pick up my generic penicillin and generic vicodin, and then walked me back home.

I’ve managed to avoid the Chipmunk Phenomenon (cheeks swelling up) by keeping my face iced down. Or more accurately, burgered down. I kept frozen hamburger patties (wrapped in wax paper of course) on my face for about a day, and that seemed to do the trick.

So now I just get to wait out the soreness and the dissolving (thank god) stitches they gave me.

I rented a bunch of movies from Blockbuster, and I’ve got a shelf full of DVDs, including quite a bit more of the 24 part WWII documentary I got a while back, and which I just recently watched the D-Day episode of, so that should keep me entertained.

That, and the Vicodin.

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