Driver’s license photo tips

I went and got my driver’s license renewed today, since I had to renew my registration and get hideously ugly new license plates anyway.

The floating head of Abe Lincoln (seen here as a prisoner behind two zeroes) really creeps me out. It’s like “I’m the Great Emancipator…and I’m coming to get you!!!

Anyway, I have some tips based on both my previous driver’s license experience and this one:

Do not try to smile. I tried this last time. It only makes you look like even more of a tool.

Wear a dark-colored shirt. A light-colored shirt will only blend into the background and make you look like a total fatass.

When they tell you to look somewhere, look there. Last time I looked directly into the camera instead of slightly below it, and it made me look like quite a grinning idiot.

If you have a chubby face, wear a necklace. Distracts from the double chin.

Overall, I think my photo came out quite a bit better this year. Last year’s I looked like a jolly fat moron, and this year I just look like I’m being booked on charges of being a serial killer.

Which is a big step up, in my book.

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