Dude, I see birthday greetings!

In addition to the many amusing birthday cards (and collages!) I got from friends in honor of my 21st birthday, I got birthday greetings from two corporations this year.

Amazon.com, who know my birthday from a little wish list thing I made so I could keep track of the random crap I saw while browsing through but otherwise would never remember, was nice enough to send me a gift certificate for 10% off my next purchase (though it expires June 12th, so I’d better get cracking).

AstroCenter.com, who Kat convinced me to have a full-out horoscope done by sometime last year, sent a predictable but amusing horoscope, which I shall now dissect the main portion of:

Today, an old cycle ends and a new one begins, because the Sun is back in Gemini at exactly the place where it was when you were born.

I know nothing about cycles of solar systems, but any shithead can tell you that the underage cycle ends and the legal cycle begins when you turn 21…

During the upcoming year, Saturn will still be traveling through the sign of Gemini, testing your stamina. It is now very important to finish existing projects and to not take on new ones.

Also doesn’t take a rocket scientist for this one, since people my age are generally getting ready to get out of college, and thus would be finishing large projects and need to not take on too much responsibility…and my stamina has been sorely tested by sleeping…not much over the last week or so, so that part’s already done with.

Embrace the fact that you now have the chance to eliminate remnants of the past to clear the road toward a sunny future. There will be significant changes within the next year, which will keep you occupied.

Again, duh. It’s nice to know my future will be sunny, though you’re not going to keep an astrology business around for long if you just tell people they’re fucked.

Excitement and frustration may be two emotional stages that you need to deal with, but overall, you will head into the right direction.

I hope the frustration doesn’t come directly after the excitement…I’ve unfortunately been getting that a lot lately in several portions of my life (one in particular…I’m sure you couldn’t POSSIBLY guess which one)…

In matters of the heart, you will now be ready to make a commitment!

Ah, shit. I wanted random sex first…

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