Ev,IL/I am not a flower shop

I would like to thank the city of Evanston, Illinois for deciding that reading week is obviously the best time to use jackhammers, backhoes, and other loud pieces of equipment early in the morning to fix some roads in the vicinity of numerous college students.

Today was the only day I have this week to get some rest. So of course, at 7am, there is a man with a jackhammer directly outside my window. I think they’re doing something to the sewer system.

They’ve also had a bulldozer whacking something with its shovel thing so hard that my entire building shakes. I realize the same effect could be achieved simply by turning my amplifier up to about six, but still, it’s obnoxious as hell when you’ve previously slept four hours in two days and will be sleeping even less in the next two.

I should find out where Lorraine Morton lives, get a generator, and turn it up to 11 at 7am sometime this summer as she’s getting ready to make some big speech to get re-elected.

Oh, and also thanks to the woman who called at 8, just as I was getting back to sleep, thinking that I’m a flower shop. Seriously, I picked up the phone and muttered a groggy “H’lo?” and she paused for a second and said:

“Do you sell sunflowers?”

I’m sorry lady, but a clear sign that you’ve got the wrong number for a flower shop is when the phone is answered “hello” by someone you have obviously just woken up. If this were an actual flower shop, I’d have said “Ellen’s Flowers, how can I help you?”

But I’m not a flower shop, so I told her she had the wrong number, got back into bed, and put a pillow over my head to try and drown out the jackhammer.

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