I went and got a haircut today for the first time in about five months, and I have run into my usual problem: In order to get my hair short enough so that I will not immediately need another haircut, they have to cut it just a wee bit too short for me to get it in a ponytail.

This drives me batshit.

I really hate wearing my hair out because my hair seems to have one eternal goal, which is to fall into my face and piss me off. I always end up inhaling a big strand sooner or later, so I just wear a ponytail.

The problem is that you can’t go with the half-assed ponytail. It just doesn’t work. The hair falls out the sides, and because you were trying to hold it back, it rebels by shooting way out the side of your head and making you (or me, in this case) look like a complete idiot.

I tried the hat method, but my good hat has gone missing, and my other hat (yes, I’m down to only two, believe it or not for those of you who knew me in my previous life when you couldn’t pry any of my hats off with a crowbar) makes me look like a moron, and does nothing to combat the outward sprout of my hair, further confirming my idiotic look.

I’m going to try the sunglasses-as-hairband thing tomorrow, which has proven fairly successful in the past. The only snag: It’s supposed to rain. Oh well, the rain will plaster my hair in place.


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